Until you are able to do this, then this situation may be detrimental for you. So connect with what you need in order to practice at your highest level, and see what answers arise from focusing on yourself. It has also taken solid strategies of self-preservation. It has taken a deep grounding in compassion and love for myself, and also deep compassion for others around me. There are people of color who survive spaces where they are marginalized. You may even discover that what you ultimately need is to leave this particular community. Moreover, this extra emotional labor may eventually lead to emotional burnout.įiguring out what you need is an expression of compassion for yourself, which you will need in this situation. It may also foster a longing for your people and your culture, which will also disrupt your practice. Integrating space is exclusively the burden of the marginalized and the under-represented, and working so hard at that level may not be conducive to the fruition of your dharma practice. So in connecting with what you need, you may come to the conclusion that your biggest need is not to work so hard to just be in the room. Then, your main practice becomes negotiating the centering of whiteness and trying to survive that so you can then do the actual dharma practice you came to do. To be marginalized in spaces like these means you are doing much more emotional labor than others simply to stay in the space. What do I do?Īnswer: I have one question: what do you need? It sounds like this space may be psychically violent for you. I love the practice and don’t want to leave, but I feel uncomfortable and miss my own people and culture. I knew that going in, but it’s been more difficult than I expected. Lama Rod Owens, Love and Rage: The Path of Liberation through Anger. It is a detailed record of how I have tried to meet the violence of the world with as much openness as possible. My broken heart is not a judgment or a crime. Question: I recently moved to a Buddhist retreat center where I am pretty much the only person of color. I have had to learn to invite my broken heart to dine with me at the table.
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